I know I said I'd write something about Terry Prachett's The Light Fantastic, but... eh, fuck that noise. It's a great book, you should go read it, I'm sorry I can't give you more than that. YOU'RE JUST GOING TO HAVE TO TRUST ME WHEN I SAY IT'S A GREAT FUCKING BOOK GO READ IT. READ IT NOW. And besides the fact that since making my last post I've also read and finished Anthony Bourdain's Medium Raw, which is also quite excellent (you will probably hate it if you are a vegan/vegetarian don't like Bourdain yelling at you, however). Instead of talking at length about either, I've decided to tell you all (hahaha, right) some very important news.
In an effort to push myself to actually write shit, I've entered myself in the crazy national contest of legend, NaNoWriMo. Or that fucking contest where you try to plug out a 100k (their official count is 50k, which is a novella, actually) novel in one month, that month being November 1-30th. I haven't been getting on my ass about writing much of anything for my novel as of late, so I figured this would be a good way for me to just put off writing for the next half-month or so, finish my outlines, and prep to PUT THE PEDAL TO THE METAL and actually write actual words and dialog! HOLY SHIT WHAT A CONCEPT.
I'll try to update my word-count here whenever I update.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Fandom, fanfictions, fffffffffffffffffffffffffffff
(Note: I started writing this post about Banned Books Week only to realize that I already did and that I'm basically a dumbfuck for not checking up on my topics before I posted this.)
I found a link to some really choice wank about Diana Gabaldon's opinion on fanfiction some weeks back through some LJ community. It's no surprise to me that there are authors out there who object to fanfiction about their works - shit like this is hardly new, Anne Rice has never not raged against fanfiction about her own work. What does surprise me though, is how many authors still have a very... well, "malformed" opinion on the shit, for lack of a better word. Diana Gabaldon is not alone in holding the belief that fanfiction is "ew gross porn"-y crap written by the talentless horny masses. She's since deleted the whole mess, but through the whole mire of self-satisfied smugness and circle-jerking, I thought about a whole bunch of what-ifs that come with publishing and fandom.
I'm not yet so full of shit that I would regard fanfiction of my characters and books as outright theft... mostly because fanfiction is protected under Fair Use laws, but also because after 4 years of going through college and having to write analytical papers, my professors have been really keen to harp on concepts such as "Intertexuality" (my adviser's favorite philosophy) and "Death of the Author." From what I know and how I've had to write for the past 4 years, I do strongly adhere to the idea that once my work is in the public sphere that I cannot dictate a reader's interpretation of my works: that my work exists outside of and away from myself. I've grown so used to the idea that I feel that when, or if, I get published that the only time I feel the right to interfere with fanworks (fanfiction, fanart, etc.) is when it interferes with my ability to profit from my own work. That is something which I've seen a lot of authors misinterpret and confuse all fanfiction as an attempt to make bank, which is largely not possible and something that I've hardly ever seen fans not respect.
Fandom is an interesting beast. Although I've never considered myself to be part of really any fandom in any capacity (unless you want to lump hate-dom in with fandom - in which case, yeah I've totally been in fandom, haha) I do personally know a huge number of people who are, online and off. My opinion on fandom largely isn't positive - I feel that there are some very fucking maladjusted and obsessive people involved in fandom - but I understand it. A lot of people in fandom are really attached to their respective fandoms, and I can see why they would. Through fandom one can find creative outlet, socialization, friendship, validation, and even catharsis. I rag on people who get way too involved, but I've only ever been one to say "Hey, maybe you should get off the internet for a bit and talk to people IRL" and never forcefully tried to change them. Because I know I really can't. Just like I know I really can't stop fanfiction (the good, the bad, and the squicky) of my own work. In fact, the more I mull it over the more I'd like to encourage it. As long as people find enjoyment in it and aren't harming each other, it shouldn't be a problem. Hell, I'd love to see some wank about it, too. Not because I think that's a good indication as to whether or not I've "made it" as an author, so to speak - but rather that my works have done what I've wanted it to do: to make people think, if not for a little bit.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Books and Banned Books Week
Fall gives me this weird academic feeling no matter what year it is or how old I am. I always get the feeling like I should be studying for some sort of test or working on some sort of bullshit busy-work project, even if I don't have either to do... or even if I'm not in college like today (it's 6am, raining and I have nothing better to do right now, really).
But naturally with fall bringing scholarly tidings and joy (it's Christmas of Academia, you see) it also brings the best week of books - Banned Book week! This year the ALA has posted a lovingly rendered .pdf displaying the most challenged books of the last decade (2000-2009) and unsurprisingly the Harry Potter series is rocking it at number 1 for being a book about witches and shit. Still, it surprises me that people out there think that Harry Potter somehow espouses the idea of witchcraft, specifically Wicca. Having actually read shit about Wicca, I can tell you Harry Potter has nothing to do with that shit. No one's casting circles, calling down the goddess, or running through the woods naked on the equinox. I've never known anybody who got into witchcraft through Harry Potter at that - although I still have that childish dream that one day I should become a wizard, I just settled for the real-life equivalent of one, that being getting a PhD and a set of stylin' robes.
Of course I haven't been reading much of anything on the banned books list this year... mostly considering everything I've ever read on the list I've done for school. I would start reading more from the banned books list but I've already got a huge plate of things to be reading right now. Just from glancing at my "to-read" shelf above my desk, I will read:
-Norwegian Wood by Haruki Murakami
-The Wind-up Bird Chronicle by Haruki Murakami
- Let the Right One In by John Ajvide Lindqvist
-Queen Victoria, Demon Hunter by A.E. Moorat
-Good Omens by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman
- To Green Angel Tower part 2 by Tad Williams (woo, 700 pages long!!)
- Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring by Tolkien
-The Hobbit by Tolkien
- The Silmarillion by Tolkien
-Tsumetai yoru ni by Ekuni Kaori
-Tokage (Lizard) by Yoshimoto Banana
-The Boredom of Haruhi Suzumiya by Nagaru Tanigawa
-Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter by Seth Grahame Smith (saving this for Halloween)
-The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins (2nd attempt to get into this)
-The Belgariad by David Eddings
And I am currently reading Terry Pratchett's The Light Fantastic and just got done with Jim Butcher's Storm Front. I won't be writing any sort of review on Storm Front for now - there was way too many things that annoyed me in that book for me to remember at this point so a review on my end is a bit pointless. I will probably write something up about The Light Fantastic, however. Pratchett's work tends to get me in a writing mood.
Here's to fall.
Edit: I'm a dumbass and actually have more books listed on my Goodreads profile in my to-read shelf.
But naturally with fall bringing scholarly tidings and joy (it's Christmas of Academia, you see) it also brings the best week of books - Banned Book week! This year the ALA has posted a lovingly rendered .pdf displaying the most challenged books of the last decade (2000-2009) and unsurprisingly the Harry Potter series is rocking it at number 1 for being a book about witches and shit. Still, it surprises me that people out there think that Harry Potter somehow espouses the idea of witchcraft, specifically Wicca. Having actually read shit about Wicca, I can tell you Harry Potter has nothing to do with that shit. No one's casting circles, calling down the goddess, or running through the woods naked on the equinox. I've never known anybody who got into witchcraft through Harry Potter at that - although I still have that childish dream that one day I should become a wizard, I just settled for the real-life equivalent of one, that being getting a PhD and a set of stylin' robes.
Of course I haven't been reading much of anything on the banned books list this year... mostly considering everything I've ever read on the list I've done for school. I would start reading more from the banned books list but I've already got a huge plate of things to be reading right now. Just from glancing at my "to-read" shelf above my desk, I will read:
-Norwegian Wood by Haruki Murakami
-The Wind-up Bird Chronicle by Haruki Murakami
- Let the Right One In by John Ajvide Lindqvist
-Queen Victoria, Demon Hunter by A.E. Moorat
-Good Omens by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman
- To Green Angel Tower part 2 by Tad Williams (woo, 700 pages long!!)
- Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring by Tolkien
-The Hobbit by Tolkien
- The Silmarillion by Tolkien
-Tsumetai yoru ni by Ekuni Kaori
-Tokage (Lizard) by Yoshimoto Banana
-The Boredom of Haruhi Suzumiya by Nagaru Tanigawa
-Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter by Seth Grahame Smith (saving this for Halloween)
-The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins (2nd attempt to get into this)
-The Belgariad by David Eddings
And I am currently reading Terry Pratchett's The Light Fantastic and just got done with Jim Butcher's Storm Front. I won't be writing any sort of review on Storm Front for now - there was way too many things that annoyed me in that book for me to remember at this point so a review on my end is a bit pointless. I will probably write something up about The Light Fantastic, however. Pratchett's work tends to get me in a writing mood.
Here's to fall.
Edit: I'm a dumbass and actually have more books listed on my Goodreads profile in my to-read shelf.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
YA and the Romance Problem
Alright, here's a topic that I've wanted to broach for some time now, but never really wanted to on more casual forums mostly because I just haven't found a place for it. Romance, especially in the YA subgenre, Paranormal Romance.
I've read (and read about) a fair number of extremely popular YA novels these days and the gushing praise that follows such novels to the point of nausea. It's never the weird half-assed world-building that bothers me, it's always the half-assed relationships that bother me much, much more. I'm not a huge fan of Romance in general (I do love Romance when it's well done, though) but I hate to see it in YA moreso because it seems increasingly common that many authors are just putting out the same basic story with the same basic characters. This isn't exactly a terrible thing - I know that people have been doing the Hero's Journey for nigh on a couple millenia now - but in the case of YA Paranormal Romance, it's an issue because these novels are printed extremely close together in terms of time for the sake of marketing and also because these archetypes and tropes are extremely problematic and well... just outright fucking awful.
For one, there's usually two male character types that stick out when it comes to the overall story and in relation to the protagonist. These two types are what I like to call "The Masochistic Boy-Next-Door" and "The Mysterious Brooding Asshole Hottie."
The Masochistic Boy-Next-Door (who I'm just going to refer to as the BND for everyone's sake from now on) is not too far off from the standard Girl Next Door archetype floating around in everything from teen flicks to general pornography. He may not be the brightest penny in the fountain, be he'll usually always have a skill he's good at that he'll share common interest in with the protagonist. He's a bit of a hottie in his own right, but the protagonist just never really thinks of him in a sexual manner, and usually cannot, especially when the Brooding Asshole enters the picture. Naturally, he's carrying a torch for the protagonist, but he'll end up losing the game of "Getting the Girl." When his existence becomes problematic (i.e. the fanbase prefers him and the protagonist as a pairing over who the main love interest) his personality is likely to do a complete 180, where he becomes this huge, pushy, Nice Guy asshole who the protagonist will eventually reject. This is pretty much what happened with Twilight, just so you know.
Then the Brooding Mysterious Asshole Hottie rolls into the picture in his wicked car, wearing his slick leather jacket, who plays by his own rules, and the protagonist falls head over-goddamn-heels for him for no other reason than "omg he's sooooo hoooooooot and mysterious." When it comes to Paranormal Romance, this guy is likely to be some sort of monster - a glitter vampire, werewolf, musty mummy, rapist pixie, you name it, he's probably one of those things. And oh my Goooood, doesn't it just make him so much more amazing despite his 2D personality and jack-off attitude towards everything?!?! I want to believe that authors don't think readers are that fucking stupid, but maybe they're just as oblivious as their fanbase. WHO KNOWS. Moving on, this guy... this is the motherfucker that the protagonist will risk life, limb, and hymen for, despite being a tremendous abusive shitheel. Edward (Twilight) is abusive, Patch (Hush, Hush) is abusive... the list goes fucking on. What's worse is that this relationship that the Brooding Asshole has with the protagonist will always be shown in narration as ideal, despite all logic to the contrary. And this is a huge fucking problem, which I'll get to in a moment.
Both of these characters in combination with the protagonist lead to the inevitable transparent Love Triangle. This is a very shallow plot contrivance that's meant to drive the whole story forward but usually ends up stagnating everything. This is what happened to Twilight. There is easily 200+ pages dedicated to Bella and Edward's "love" and maybe 100 pages of actual, antagonist-based conflict. It's almost shoe-horned in as an afterthought. Furthermore, despite all debate on who the protagonist "should" choose, the answer is always made obvious - rarely does the protagonist choose the BND over the Brooding Asshole, that's... just not how things work in this genre. I don't know why this is, and the fact that authors keep making Love Triangles like this is actually upsetting to me. Not because I'm basically being cheated out of actual conflict within the narration, but because this ends up glorifying abuse. While a lot of people end up pooh-poohing this whole idea when it's brought up, it's a serious issue considering the high rate of domestic abuse and sexual abuse that occurs daily within the US.
As an aside, my mother works as a middle school Family and Consumer Science teacher and part of her curriculum is teaching students about healthy relationships. Inevitably, she discusses abuse with students, bringing up such publicized relationships like Chris Brown and Rhianna, and recently I've got her to discuss even fictional relationships in media and what constitutes as unhealthy. It was unsurprising, yet still heartbreaking to hear that many students feel Rhianna deserved to be beat and that the relationship that Bella and Edward have is ideal. Even though I know teens are far more mature than I am willing to admit, at the same time, I can't deny the fact that many teens are still very impressionable and subconsciously do absorb a lot of social cues through the media really easily, and this is why I feel the need to rail against this shit.
As a wannabe author, I feel a little more duty to readers than just selling them something entertaining. I don't think it's my place to shove my own personal set of morals down people's throats, but I can't show a relationship to my readers that is anything remotely similar to that in YA Paranormal Romance in anything resembling a positive light. Further, I will not allow romance to trump the entire story itself as it does in so many YA books already. I think I'll be taking a different approach to love in my books.
I've read (and read about) a fair number of extremely popular YA novels these days and the gushing praise that follows such novels to the point of nausea. It's never the weird half-assed world-building that bothers me, it's always the half-assed relationships that bother me much, much more. I'm not a huge fan of Romance in general (I do love Romance when it's well done, though) but I hate to see it in YA moreso because it seems increasingly common that many authors are just putting out the same basic story with the same basic characters. This isn't exactly a terrible thing - I know that people have been doing the Hero's Journey for nigh on a couple millenia now - but in the case of YA Paranormal Romance, it's an issue because these novels are printed extremely close together in terms of time for the sake of marketing and also because these archetypes and tropes are extremely problematic and well... just outright fucking awful.
For one, there's usually two male character types that stick out when it comes to the overall story and in relation to the protagonist. These two types are what I like to call "The Masochistic Boy-Next-Door" and "The Mysterious Brooding Asshole Hottie."
The Masochistic Boy-Next-Door (who I'm just going to refer to as the BND for everyone's sake from now on) is not too far off from the standard Girl Next Door archetype floating around in everything from teen flicks to general pornography. He may not be the brightest penny in the fountain, be he'll usually always have a skill he's good at that he'll share common interest in with the protagonist. He's a bit of a hottie in his own right, but the protagonist just never really thinks of him in a sexual manner, and usually cannot, especially when the Brooding Asshole enters the picture. Naturally, he's carrying a torch for the protagonist, but he'll end up losing the game of "Getting the Girl." When his existence becomes problematic (i.e. the fanbase prefers him and the protagonist as a pairing over who the main love interest) his personality is likely to do a complete 180, where he becomes this huge, pushy, Nice Guy asshole who the protagonist will eventually reject. This is pretty much what happened with Twilight, just so you know.
Then the Brooding Mysterious Asshole Hottie rolls into the picture in his wicked car, wearing his slick leather jacket, who plays by his own rules, and the protagonist falls head over-goddamn-heels for him for no other reason than "omg he's sooooo hoooooooot and mysterious." When it comes to Paranormal Romance, this guy is likely to be some sort of monster - a glitter vampire, werewolf, musty mummy, rapist pixie, you name it, he's probably one of those things. And oh my Goooood, doesn't it just make him so much more amazing despite his 2D personality and jack-off attitude towards everything?!?! I want to believe that authors don't think readers are that fucking stupid, but maybe they're just as oblivious as their fanbase. WHO KNOWS. Moving on, this guy... this is the motherfucker that the protagonist will risk life, limb, and hymen for, despite being a tremendous abusive shitheel. Edward (Twilight) is abusive, Patch (Hush, Hush) is abusive... the list goes fucking on. What's worse is that this relationship that the Brooding Asshole has with the protagonist will always be shown in narration as ideal, despite all logic to the contrary. And this is a huge fucking problem, which I'll get to in a moment.
Both of these characters in combination with the protagonist lead to the inevitable transparent Love Triangle. This is a very shallow plot contrivance that's meant to drive the whole story forward but usually ends up stagnating everything. This is what happened to Twilight. There is easily 200+ pages dedicated to Bella and Edward's "love" and maybe 100 pages of actual, antagonist-based conflict. It's almost shoe-horned in as an afterthought. Furthermore, despite all debate on who the protagonist "should" choose, the answer is always made obvious - rarely does the protagonist choose the BND over the Brooding Asshole, that's... just not how things work in this genre. I don't know why this is, and the fact that authors keep making Love Triangles like this is actually upsetting to me. Not because I'm basically being cheated out of actual conflict within the narration, but because this ends up glorifying abuse. While a lot of people end up pooh-poohing this whole idea when it's brought up, it's a serious issue considering the high rate of domestic abuse and sexual abuse that occurs daily within the US.
As an aside, my mother works as a middle school Family and Consumer Science teacher and part of her curriculum is teaching students about healthy relationships. Inevitably, she discusses abuse with students, bringing up such publicized relationships like Chris Brown and Rhianna, and recently I've got her to discuss even fictional relationships in media and what constitutes as unhealthy. It was unsurprising, yet still heartbreaking to hear that many students feel Rhianna deserved to be beat and that the relationship that Bella and Edward have is ideal. Even though I know teens are far more mature than I am willing to admit, at the same time, I can't deny the fact that many teens are still very impressionable and subconsciously do absorb a lot of social cues through the media really easily, and this is why I feel the need to rail against this shit.
As a wannabe author, I feel a little more duty to readers than just selling them something entertaining. I don't think it's my place to shove my own personal set of morals down people's throats, but I can't show a relationship to my readers that is anything remotely similar to that in YA Paranormal Romance in anything resembling a positive light. Further, I will not allow romance to trump the entire story itself as it does in so many YA books already. I think I'll be taking a different approach to love in my books.
Monday, September 27, 2010
This is like waking up late for the first day of class and I have to turn in homework already
So the day one of me resolving to change my bullshit ways has fallen through already. I couldn't get to bed until late (I really need to not browse SA forums so late at night, it's killing me) so I end up waking up at 11:30 in the morning only to realize I haven't taken my medication... so whoopdeedoo, no fucking breakfast for an hour. No resolve to get up, finish planning out my novel, nosh a bit, update this thing, do laundry, plan more, lunch, etc. Goddamn. I really set myself up for failure, here.
Alright, let's talk about something else.
Last Tuesday, my university threw a fall career fair for students and alumni, and I attended mostly to get mom off my back, but to actually get my resumes out there in the easiest way possible. I've applied with numerous organizations (mostly federal work, though) and while I think I've got something, I know there are better applicants out there. I can only hope at this point that someone actually sees something worth training in me.
After I had finished with the career fair, I decided to hop on by my undergraduate advisor's office and essentially beg for guidance. I don't know if getting work will pan out (it might, most agencies and bureaus are at the end of their fiscal year and can hire new people now) so I wanted to know what programs for Japanese I should apply to. Well, of course, he couldn't help me unless I knew what I wanted to study. Shit. When he asked I basically said modern literature, women's lit specifically, but I don't think I want to study that now. Honestly, I'd like to go back to some of the stuff I touched on in my senior project, some translations from Hideyuki Furuhashi's Aru hi, bakudan ga ochitekite, which is a light novel.
... Fuck it, I want to study light novels. Hardly anyone has fucking studied light novels in English, and they're only just now being translated and printed in the U.S. by a few publishers. It's not much, and it's very much a niche audience, but they seem to be doing okay with titles like the Haruhi series.
As for the question, "is this shit even worth studying?" Yes, to me it is. But I say this is mostly because my undergraduate advisor has never discouraged me from studying what I want. To people like him, there's nothing not worth studying - and he's kind of right. There are thousands of subjects people haven't touched in academia pertaining to literature - I know barely anyone has made a serious study of YA literature (which is bullshit because the majority of books being challenged within the US are YA novels and well-loved novels in the academic sphere, almost exclusively) or even fandom. Why? Who the fuck knows. It could be anything from lack of knowledge to a cockblocking PhD advisor.
As to "why the fuck would you want to study this shit?" Well, I find it fascinating, really. Light novels are (and I touched on this in my own introduction to my translation) a very unique blending between literary culture and visual culture that is particular to Japan. It's a genre that really has no equal in the U.S., but we also don't have a strong nerd (read: otaku) subculture supporting stuff like fantasy. We have one for graphic novels and comic books, but they're not really the same, although there are plenty of parallels between the two cultures. There's actually a fair bit of research and study being put into light novels and otaku subculture in Japan, but very little of it has been brought to the U.S. - stuff like Hiroki Azuma's book on otaku and internet culture in Japan was only a start. He's written a follow up book to it since, but it hasn't been translated at all, which is a shame, because it was all about light novels and fuck me, I could have really used it for my research. So I think there's something worth studying about light novels.
Whew, that's done. Now it's all a matter of where I should look to apply, if I choose a career in academia like most of my family. Anybody got any ideas?
Alright, let's talk about something else.
Last Tuesday, my university threw a fall career fair for students and alumni, and I attended mostly to get mom off my back, but to actually get my resumes out there in the easiest way possible. I've applied with numerous organizations (mostly federal work, though) and while I think I've got something, I know there are better applicants out there. I can only hope at this point that someone actually sees something worth training in me.
After I had finished with the career fair, I decided to hop on by my undergraduate advisor's office and essentially beg for guidance. I don't know if getting work will pan out (it might, most agencies and bureaus are at the end of their fiscal year and can hire new people now) so I wanted to know what programs for Japanese I should apply to. Well, of course, he couldn't help me unless I knew what I wanted to study. Shit. When he asked I basically said modern literature, women's lit specifically, but I don't think I want to study that now. Honestly, I'd like to go back to some of the stuff I touched on in my senior project, some translations from Hideyuki Furuhashi's Aru hi, bakudan ga ochitekite, which is a light novel.
... Fuck it, I want to study light novels. Hardly anyone has fucking studied light novels in English, and they're only just now being translated and printed in the U.S. by a few publishers. It's not much, and it's very much a niche audience, but they seem to be doing okay with titles like the Haruhi series.
As for the question, "is this shit even worth studying?" Yes, to me it is. But I say this is mostly because my undergraduate advisor has never discouraged me from studying what I want. To people like him, there's nothing not worth studying - and he's kind of right. There are thousands of subjects people haven't touched in academia pertaining to literature - I know barely anyone has made a serious study of YA literature (which is bullshit because the majority of books being challenged within the US are YA novels and well-loved novels in the academic sphere, almost exclusively) or even fandom. Why? Who the fuck knows. It could be anything from lack of knowledge to a cockblocking PhD advisor.
As to "why the fuck would you want to study this shit?" Well, I find it fascinating, really. Light novels are (and I touched on this in my own introduction to my translation) a very unique blending between literary culture and visual culture that is particular to Japan. It's a genre that really has no equal in the U.S., but we also don't have a strong nerd (read: otaku) subculture supporting stuff like fantasy. We have one for graphic novels and comic books, but they're not really the same, although there are plenty of parallels between the two cultures. There's actually a fair bit of research and study being put into light novels and otaku subculture in Japan, but very little of it has been brought to the U.S. - stuff like Hiroki Azuma's book on otaku and internet culture in Japan was only a start. He's written a follow up book to it since, but it hasn't been translated at all, which is a shame, because it was all about light novels and fuck me, I could have really used it for my research. So I think there's something worth studying about light novels.
Whew, that's done. Now it's all a matter of where I should look to apply, if I choose a career in academia like most of my family. Anybody got any ideas?
Sunday, September 26, 2010
An Introduction... of Sorts
Let me start off by saying that I am not good with introductions. Mostly online however (I learned to sell myself to strangers IRL in college, a necessary skill) because I never felt the need or want to make some cutesy "OMG HELLO ^____^" post for people to gawk and pass over. I always jumped into conversations because... well shit, it's easier on forums because it's like having a very slow conversation you can just butt your ass into without apologizing.
Since, I've always shied away from writing in blogs, or even updating my miserably under-used LiveJournal. Mostly because I know people don't care about what I write, especially if I lock the damn thing so fucking frequently, but also because my friends have moved on. So I need to move on. I need a clean sheet of paper to puke my mind-guts onto right now. Not because I have something worth saying, but because I need to say something. So let me tell you about myself:
I'm 22.
I graduated from (THE) George Washington University with a B.A. in Japanese Language and Literature.
I come from a middle-class academic family with 2 cats whom I care more about than most of my relatives or my own dwindling mental capacity.
I have everything I need to keep myself satisfied, but I'm not.
I have no job.
I have no direction.
And worst of all, I have big dreams that I don't have the balls to fulfill. I regard myself as a toughie, but I'm really a gigantic fucking wuss.
As for my big dreams? I want to become a writer. I want to get published. I want to make people laugh, cry, rage, and think - the whole fuckin' magilla.
... But I haven't written anything. I'm only just now, after sitting on my own imagination for over a decade, pouring my little story-to-be onto paper (for real this time, I swear!!) then finally onto the computer, and maybe one day into someone else's hands. I share the same bullshit dream with a million other people, but I still think I can get somewhere.
I just haven't done anything yet.
So here I am. Plugging away, and hoping, praying, that this time, this write-though will be different. I mean, I'm not putting my eggs all in one basket, though: I've been putting out my resume like crazy, and if a full-fledged 40 hour a week slog just isn't in my hand then fuck it - I'll go back to school and study and mom would understahahaha! Maybe this whole blogging thing will kick my ass into gear. God knows I feel "inspired" already.
So let me try again. Let me try to keep up and keep writing.
We're doing this, man. We're making this happen.
LET'S DO THIS.
Since, I've always shied away from writing in blogs, or even updating my miserably under-used LiveJournal. Mostly because I know people don't care about what I write, especially if I lock the damn thing so fucking frequently, but also because my friends have moved on. So I need to move on. I need a clean sheet of paper to puke my mind-guts onto right now. Not because I have something worth saying, but because I need to say something. So let me tell you about myself:
I'm 22.
I graduated from (THE) George Washington University with a B.A. in Japanese Language and Literature.
I come from a middle-class academic family with 2 cats whom I care more about than most of my relatives or my own dwindling mental capacity.
I have everything I need to keep myself satisfied, but I'm not.
I have no job.
I have no direction.
And worst of all, I have big dreams that I don't have the balls to fulfill. I regard myself as a toughie, but I'm really a gigantic fucking wuss.
As for my big dreams? I want to become a writer. I want to get published. I want to make people laugh, cry, rage, and think - the whole fuckin' magilla.
... But I haven't written anything. I'm only just now, after sitting on my own imagination for over a decade, pouring my little story-to-be onto paper (for real this time, I swear!!) then finally onto the computer, and maybe one day into someone else's hands. I share the same bullshit dream with a million other people, but I still think I can get somewhere.
I just haven't done anything yet.
So here I am. Plugging away, and hoping, praying, that this time, this write-though will be different. I mean, I'm not putting my eggs all in one basket, though: I've been putting out my resume like crazy, and if a full-fledged 40 hour a week slog just isn't in my hand then fuck it - I'll go back to school and study and mom would understahahaha! Maybe this whole blogging thing will kick my ass into gear. God knows I feel "inspired" already.
So let me try again. Let me try to keep up and keep writing.
We're doing this, man. We're making this happen.
LET'S DO THIS.
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